Stargazer by Karen D. Morton Copyright 1989 by Karen D. Morton. All rights reserved. Chapter 4 1987 Monday morning found me alone. Yesterday, Judith and Paul expressed concern about the ring grown to my finger without dragging the issue into the ground. For that, I was grateful. Most of Sunday night I lay awake and stared at my hand. Sometime before dawn, an idea came to mind. Before I could try it, I had to do my chores. By mid-morning, sunshine gleamed off the kitchen's yellow counters. Paul should be pleased with my work. This was my way of paying for room and board. My hope that John would find me soon dwindled with every passing day. I wished now that I had asked more questions about this ring before putting it on, but crying over spilt milk wouldn't do anyone any good. Judith and Paul were right about one thing: the ring had to come off now. I laid my hand on the counter and picked up the paring knife. When I touched its tip to the space where my skin had grown into the ring, my left hand jerked away. On my second try, the blade bit into the skin. Pain shot up my arm, and my finger bled. I gritted my teeth as I continued to cut around the ring. Blood pooled on the counter top. Why did my finger bleed so much? More dripped onto the floor. I threw my knife in the sink and grabbed my hand to stop the bleeding. I closed my eyes and prayed my foolishness wouldn't mean my death. Everything went blank. Not even the sound of the construction machinery outside could reach my ears. My only sensation was painful throbbing in my finger and hand. After an undetermined amount of time, my finger stopped hurting. I washed my hand and pulled on the ring. Nothing happened. A closer examination revealed unbroken skin still attached to the ring. The counter top had only a few drops of dried blood on it. My knees buckled; I must have stood there for hours. I was too tired to feed myself, so I laid my head on the table to rest. "Yoo hoo!" Judith called from the living room. I couldn't let her see my ridiculousness. With a sponge, I scrubbed up tiny blood spots on the counter top before she came into the kitchen. "A brief recap of the day's events: Work went as usual -- Pegasus still is having trouble with his retrieval subroutine. Teri is out bar hopping with some old friends, and Paul has some late customers. That means it's you and me for din-din. Now, how did your day go?" "I got the house cleaned up and the laundry done as Paul instructed." Judith peered into the refrigerator. "Since you're going to be with us for a while, I want to warn you that everyone in this house -- including you -- will be attending Xanadu in Nashville in a couple of weeks." "What's Xanadu? Aside from the poem, that is." "Science fiction convention. You'll fit right in." She closed the door. "I'd better get to exercising before I eat any more of Marty's truffles." I followed her into the bedroom. "Why do you call Paul 'Marty'?" "Because he calls me 'Judy.'" She slipped off her sweater. I turned away. "I ain't got nothin' you ain't got.... Okay, I'm covered." She was wearing a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Her legs were covered to the hip with black, shiny hose. She pulled on a jogging shoe; the unmade bed she sat on nearly filled the entire room. Her dresser overflowed with jewelry and personal items. Dirty clothes sat piled in a basket in one corner near her closet. A second closet, closer to the door, was filled with boxes of electronic equipment. A mirror was mounted on the wall between the closets. The other walls contained the same kinds of posters and pictures that hung elsewhere in the house. "I see you've still got that ring on." She looked under the bed for her right shoe. "If I had a bauble like that, I would probably lose it before it could grow on me." "Why do you always make fun of yourself?" "It keeps me from cracking up." "Yes, but why?" Judith rolled her eyes. "Do you really want to know? Okay. I'm thirty-two years old, and I've got no future. The only way I'll make it in this jive state is to get my engineering degree. The only way I can make it without the degree is to leave. And I can't afford to do either, thanks to my lousy ex-husband!" Her fist lightly struck the mirror. "And then there's my terrific sex life. Just me and Lefty." I blushed. Would I ever get used to her candor? "Enough self pity! I've got some G. S. S. to do." She walked past me into the hallway. "What is 'G. S. S.'?" "Grunt, sweat and strain, honey." I followed her into the "rec room." She switched on surprisingly melodious music and stretched with the grace of a dancer. Moments later, she climbed onto her exercise bicycle, and her music changed to noise. "Grunt! Sweat! Strain!" she called in time to the music. I laughed. "You're queer!" "When did I ever come on to you?" She dropped onto the floor. When she sat up the first time, she said, "Grunt." However amusing her words, her actions had a different effect on me. I embarrassingly found myself admiring her beauty and grace. "Now, for the shower!" She jogged to the bathroom. I stood outside the bathroom door. The running water reminded me of -- -- A rainy day when I longed to be with John. -- Leaves rustling outside as I poised over my amber-eyed lover. Her legs spread, allowing my hardness to penetrate her. A pleasant tingle from my hand spread through my body. My amber-eyed lover waited for me inside that bathroom. When her shower stopped, I opened the door. "Hey, what --?" I covered her mouth with mine. Hers tasted like mint and chocolate. I pulled her aside from the sink while my hands sought her breasts. "Carolyn, wait a minute!" She pushed me back. "I was only joking." I silenced her with a kiss. Again, she pushed me back. "I said to stop it!" A wave of hot embarrassment washed over me. "I -- I don't know what came over me." Wrapping a towel around herself, she retreated to the far side of the bathroom. "You know, I'm not exactly against you and me going at it. I just wish you hadn't jumped me like that." "Judith, I'm not -- I never --" "Forget it. If you don't mind, I need to finish my personal business." When I stepped into the hall, I heard the bathroom door lock click. I couldn't blame her, really. And I couldn't believe what I had just tried to do. Leaning against a wall, I just wanted to sink onto the floor in eternal embarrassment. What had just happened to me? Who was the woman with amber eyes? And the man who had possessed me? I shook my head to clear it. The memory was a mere shadow of itself. All these hallucinations were frightening. I rubbed on my ring for its comforting calmness. "Hello in there." Judith knelt in front of me. She now wore a long robe made of terri cloth. "Are you ready to tell me just what is going on with you?" "I... Can't." "Fine. Next time you get the urge, though, ask first. Meanwhile, let's get some chow." In the kitchen, we made sandwiches from left-over roast beef. She didn't say anything else, and I was grateful. I knew I should tell her what had happened to me, even if she couldn't believe me. It wasn't right for her to think that those desires had been mine. I wanted to ask her to help me figure things out. Instead, I said, "I -- I've never tried that before. Judith, what happened between us is, well, I don't know." The look on her face made me change my mind. I didn't have the right words to explain what had happened to me without hurting her feelings. She brought sandwiches to the table. "Relax, kid. You're not the first woman to come on to me. That was a long time ago. I was younger than you are now. I think Watergate was going on. Anyway, her name was Mary Lou Atkins, and she was a macho lesbian feminist. She was my first love ever." The sandwich tasted like cardboard. I had no desire to hear about her sordid past, yet I felt relieved that she was content to let me sit quietly. "Her grandmother was a really famous artist. Mary Lou had a print of one of her pictures. It showed a black woman working in an old fashioned kitchen. I think it was called 'Lisa's Kitchen.' Her grandma was Luanne Williams. Or something like that." We spent the evening watching "videos" on "television." They were strange plays about people traveling in space ships. One of them had pointed ears. Another had a long scarf. Still another was a woman who killed a slimy creature. I wondered if Judith was capable of liking stories about ordinary people. But what were "ordinary" people like in the 20th century? Bedtime finally came. After I made my pallet on the couch, I turned my thoughts to the amber-eyed woman. Who had she been? The more I tried to think about her, the more Judith intruded into my thoughts. She was still on my mind when I fell asleep. 1895 When I was a little girl, Paw told me about the stars and planets in West Knoxville's night sky. "Maybe people live on other planets," he had said. As I sat in Mrs. Fisher's front porch swing, I was beginning to believe Paw was right. John and Minnelkin's conversation at the church social had taken the queerest of turns. Yesterday, I had tried to find a "Triangle" on the globe in Mr. Kellers' office. There was no place called by that name on Earth. Maybe it was in Africa. No, it couldn't be. How would John and Minnelkin be able to explore areas that no one else ever had -- Without anyone else finding out about it? Perhaps... Mr. Lowell believed canals on Mars proved that men lived there. Maybe John and Minnelkin were really Martians. That would explain John's unease at city life and Minnelkin's strange language. Their being Martians would also explain the strange oblong weapon he had started to use on John at the social. Before I could ask about their home world, I would have to learn something about the Heavens. With that goal in mind, I read the first two dialogues in "The Study of Astronomy." New discoveries must have been made about the sky since this book was published -- about 80 years ago. At least it gave me a place to start; I would practice star gazing so I would understand when Minnelkin or John told me about Mars. Clouds and rain kept me from watching the skies for several nights. During this time, neither Minnelkin nor John visited. A week ago, I would have been glad. Now, I worried that I had frightened them away for good. "I don' understan' you, Car'line." Eliza sat on the porch and opened early pea pods into a glass bowl. "Furst, you don't wan' him comin' 'round, an' now you moonin' 'cause he ain't comin' 'round. Makes up yer mind, girl. And I says you was better off before." "I don't agree, Eliza. I've discovered something interesting." "That there blush tell me what you int'rested in. Girl, I woulda thought after Fredrick you done learn your lesson. Men ain't nothin' but trouble. Well, it be dark soon." She rose from the porch step. "Maybe you folks is finally ready fer supper." It would at last be clear enough to star gaze tonight. I wondered if I'd recognize the planets I'd read about. The only constellations I knew were the big and little Dippers. "Good evening, Carolyn." John walked up to the porch. I put on my sweetest smile. "Good evening." I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying "Mr. Martian." "I was wondering if you'd like to go on a carriage ride in the country." Even though it was an improper request, no one else had heard. Mother was still in Atlanta, and Eddie worked late at the factory. Mr. Cromley fussed at Eliza in the kitchen. If I was going to find out about Mars, this would be my best opportunity for a long time. "Well, I was planning to look at the stars." "Oh. Are you an astronomer?" He picked up my book. "It belonged to my father -- God rest his soul." I lowered my eyes. If Mother had known of my plans, she would have scolded me for my foolishness. Perhaps I did have queer notions, yet how many "ordinary" girls could say they had attracted the notice of a man from Mars? Or possibly two? "If you would come with me this evening, I'll teach you more about the stars than this will ever tell you." He held it out to me. "I have a library that has information about all the planets in this solar system. After what happened on Friday night, I can't hide the truth from you. I'm not from --" The screen door slammed. "-- Knoxville. Good evening, Miss Eliza." "Evenin'. You wanna stay for supper?" "If you would be so kind." "Ain't no trouble." She shot me a secret scowl before she retreated into the house. "Where is your library, John?" "I'll show you tonight." Eliza laid out a generous table for Mr. Cromley, John and me: Bacon, fried potatoes and onions, cold biscuits, and canned poke salad. With the pot of boiled coffee, she served fried sweet cakes. Mr. Cromley badgered us with a tirade of his views on proper behavior for young lovers. I wanted to scream at his insinuations, yet John listened with quiet respect. We took our leave as soon as he went to bed. As we walked under orange-flamed street lamps (Laurel Avenue had not yet changed to new electric lights), John slipped my arm into his. I held my head up high. After all, who else had ever had the privilege of walking arm-in-arm with a man from Mars? He rented a carriage from Pryor Brown Livery. Horseshoes clicked on cobblestones as he drove down Gay Street to the wooden plank toll bridge. John dropped coins into the attendant's hand for our passage to South Knoxville. Street lamps stopped at the end of the bridge. Undaunted, John lit the buggy's lamps. We rode past a sawmill, the brick yard and the slaughter house. John followed Sevierville Pike (which was now a dirt road) when it turned away from the race track. "In a few days, we'll have to take the ferry at River Road to get over here," I said. "They're going to build one of those concrete bridges." John guided the carriage down Old Sevierville Road until we were in the woods. At the first clearing, he stopped the carriage. "Why are we stopping here?" "You wanted to see my library, didn't you?" He reached for my hand to help me climb down from the carriage. "But there's nothing here!" "You still don't trust me. We'll go back." "No!" I practically jumped from the carriage into his arms. "I want to see the -- the library." The orange glow of the carriage's lamps couldn't hide his blush. When I realized what I had done, I placed my hands on his chest to push myself away. There was no reason for me to continue acting like a moral degenerate. His arms tightened around me, then his lips covered mine. Part of me wanted to yield, to let his tenderness caress me everywhere. Yet, I knew what we were doing was wrong. The last time someone had held me this way -- "Stop it!" I fell against the carriage. Startled, the horse stumbled a couple of steps. I grabbed a wheel spoke to steady myself. "Are you going to take me to your library or not?" "This way." From his pocket came a small half cylinder that glowed. I followed him into the woods. He walked on a path that winded around trees and bushes. After we walked for a time, he stopped in front of a huge maple tree. "If this is a joke, it's not very funny." "This tree marks the entrance to the Conveyance." He gave me the glowing cylinder. "Wait here." He stepped -- Into the tree, then he stuck his head out. "You can come in now." "I can't. It's too strange." He laughed. "Take my hand and close your eyes." My shoes scraped against a hard floor, and bright light nearly blinded me. I now stood inside a triangle that had the woods on one side and a grassy plain on the second. The grassy side was daylight. "How can we be in two places at once? And it's so cool... Are we in a cave?" The floor and the third wall were made from some sort of metal. I wondered if this was how the ironclads of the War Between the States had looked. John pocketed his glowing cylinder then walked toward the third wall, which disappeared before him. Through it lay a narrow hallway with walls made from the same grey metal. "The library is this way." I headed for the plain. An invisible wall stopped me. I turned back toward the woods. Reaching out, I could feel a warm breeze. I went back toward the plain. The wall stopped me again. "I'll have to reprogram the Conveyance to let us go there." John took my arm. We walked through the narrow hall that had two doors on each side and one at the end. None of the doors had knobs. "That's my room, that's the spare room, that's storage, here's the control room." We stopped in front of a door. Before I could ask how we were to get inside, it faded away. We walked into a room that contained an empty reclined chair with a tan, skin-like covering, a metal cabinet with a chair in front of it, and another metal cabinet with a black window. Neither of the cabinets had doors or knobs of any kind. The cabinet without the window had areas that varied in shades of grey on its front. Otherwise, everything in the room, including the hard floor, was the same shade of dull silver. A wall ended in the entrance of yet another room. "The library." John walked toward it. The soft and warm chair covering immediately filled in the place where my hand had been. This chair looked much too small for John. "Come this way." He led me into a room with a reclining sofa covered with the same tan material. Another doorway lay beyond the chair. "Since you don't have an interface, I'll have to do this through holographic projections." Sitting on the reclined sofa, he closed his eyes. The cover immediately snuggled around him. I cautiously sat next to him. Had he fallen asleep? After his actions in the clearing, I didn't dare touch him. "Look up there." He pointed to the ceiling, into which appeared a large, bright, yellow star. I scooted back on the reclined sofa. John was too absorbed in his thoughts to notice me. "Your 'sun'," he said. The star dissolved into a cratered, round body. "Mercury." The cratered body gave way to one covered with clouds. "Venus." Next came a blue and white globe he claimed was the Earth. The red globe called "Mars" had an atmosphere and temperature that couldn't support animal life. "Well, if you aren't from Mars, then where do you come from?" "You thought I came from --?" He laughed. "I shouldn't laugh at your lack of knowledge. I'm sorry. I come from a planet that orbits another star." Mars also had two tiny lumps of rock for moons. Jupiter's globe, covered with swirling bands of clouds, had many orbiting moons. Saturn looked similar, except for its color and its hundreds of rings. "Uranus" also had rings, which were nearly invisible. John explained that "Uranus" was a later name for Georgium Sidus. Neither "Neptune" nor "Pluto" were in my book. There were others, he said, but they were too small and far away to be concerned about. "Can we visit any of these planets?" He shook his head. "This Conveyance can only visit places with Earth-like environments." "How can you visit two places at once?" "I can't." "But the entrance hall showed that grassy plain --" "-- Which you couldn't go to, remember?" Something clattered in the next room. Before John could stop me, I went through the other door into a larger room that held huge, metallic cabinets. These had only a narrow space between them. A wall sealed off the miniature hallway at the far end, and one of the cabinets had a cut-away that led into the main hallway. A monkey-like dog tossed things from one of the cabinets onto the floor. It had the face, rear legs, and lean body of a greyhound. Its forearms, tail, and hands (although paw-like) reminded me of the rhesus monkeys I had seen pictures of. "Don't touch anything!" The dog's voice came from a small medallion attached to its collar. I was too startled to reply. After a moment, it said, "You primitive xenophobics are all alike. Greistolon, get your plaything out of here!" Greistolon. Minnelkin had called John by that name. He had lied to me. Not only had he known Minnelkin's sister, he might even have ravaged her! And I had been foolish enough to let him bring me here alone. I didn't stop running until I tripped over something in the dark woods. I scurried to my feet, only to trip again seconds later. I buried my head in my skirt. He could do anything now, and I couldn't stop him. "Carolyn?" His glowing cylinder illuminated him like an angel. "Why are you crying?" I gripped his lapels. "Please, just don't beat me! I'll do whatever you want." "I don't understand what you are talking about." "Oh, stop pretending! Any man who would lie about his name would stop at nothing to get what he wants!" I couldn't bear to look at him. I would watch the sky and pray it wouldn't hurt so much this time. His cold hands on my neck made me shiver. How long would it take him to squeeze the life from me? "My name is Greistolon," he said. "I thought 'John' would be easier for you to accept." Neither of us moved for a long time. Why did he have to toy with me like this? Wouldn't stripping me of what little dignity I had managed to rebuild be enough for him? He poised over me until his hands slipped down to my shoulders. They would open my blouse momentarily. Instead, he stared at me with those tender grey eyes. A burning flush covered my whole body as I realized that I had once again misjudged him. Only this time, he wouldn't have to ask me any questions. He now knew my secret beyond any doubt.